"Baseball players are role models. And so, Congress feels that it has a duty to take a look and investigate." - Rep. Diane Watson
Well, now that Congress has abused its powers in matters of baseball and steroids, I have a few other things they need to look into.
- How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? I think that owl is full of crap.
- Tempur-pedic or Select Comfort: I've heard good things about both...which is better?
- Who put the bomp in the bomp-a-bomp-a-bomp? Who put the ram in the ram-a-lam-a-ding-dong? Who put the bop in the bop-she-bop-she-bop? Who put the dip in the dip-de-dip-de-dip? Who was that man?
- That monster in Cloverfield...what is it and can it happen for real? And should it be legal for J. J. Abrams to tease America for so long? I, for one, have suffered emotional stress because of not being allowed to know the whole story behind this movie.
- How big a grip does Scientology have on Hollywood?
- Who was the better quarterback: Joe Montana or Tom Brady?
- If a tree falls in the woods, and no Congressman is there to hear it, does it make a sound? And can they still tax Big Lumber for it?
- Do fat bottomed girls really make the rockin' world go round?
- The trail cam that supposedly caught a picture of a juvenile Bigfoot has not received the attention it deserves. Perhaps they could look into that. There needs to be a Committee on Cryptozoology, doesn't there?
- How many members of Congress actually remember what they are there for and how many never knew to start with?
Just ten off the top of my head. I'm sure there are others.
